dedicated to
Karen B from WA
I'm too sore...
One of the most common comments I hear
is "I have scoliosis", or "I have one leg shorter than the
other". It's normally the first thing that comes out of
the rider (or parent's) mouth. Yet, at the same time the
REALLY disabled people hardly notice, or mention, their disability!
A long time ago I noticed
one thing about the Paralympians I teach - none of them "are" their illness or disability.
They concentrate on their sport, not on their illness, their pills, their
bandaging or treatments. They focus on their job of riding and
creating lovely horses!
Often riders, and parents, talk to me
about what they, or their child, CANT do, not what they CAN do.
And, again it's normally the very MILD cases of disability.
The Grade 1 RDA (the most disabled such as completely blind or in
wheelchairs) just "get on with the job" and show me what they CAN
do!
Sports psychology at its
best (& worst)...
I call it
"talking DOWN" language. I'm too tired, it's raining,
it's too muddy, it's too hot, I'm getting too old.
One thing I learned from my Dad was to always "talk it
UP". And, that's what sports psychology is all about.
Getting rid of negative language and thinking.
Sports psychology is often about telling
ourselves "little white lies":
►
"I AM going to make the Olympic team" (when you just don't
know how you can).
► "I WILL have the money" (when you're deep in
debt).
► "I WILL get the horse" (when "fluffy the pony"
the 36 year old semi-retiree is the only horse lumbering around
the paddock).
Honestly, one of the major keys to my
own success is "talking it up". When I was deep in debt I
would say "I'm going to the UK to train". When I didn't have
the time I would say "I'm going to do this course". When I
didn't have the energy I would say "I'm going to train this horse
for the Nationals"....AND IT WORKED!!!
And...I'm speaking from
experience...I have lupus, fibromyalgia and assorted heart problems.
I've been in hospital more times than I've
counted with heart issues, neurological issues and just plain sick! I've
broken bones coming off, in between and under horses, torn tendons, knocked unconscious, and that was just in dressage
*smile*!
That didn't count my polocrosse, breaking & training days!
Susan Seipel, dear friend,
(photo right) works tirelessly on her seat and posture. With
both legs in that position, she has enormous hurdles to overcome, and she has
NEVER complained to me, hardly even explained her disability...she
just gets on with the job. She talks it up!
Marita Hird has been a friend for
probably now 10 years, Paralympic Medallist, National Champion and
Australian Team Representative, and a great sense of humour to boot.
It wasn't until months after I met her that she mentioned she was
RDA! She talks everything up!
Ingrid Bayly, another friend for many
years now, I never hear complaining, and my darling Claire Butler,
current Junior RDA Queensland State Dressage Champion I had to beg
and plead for her to even consider riding RDA, such was her
determination to ride in normal competition. Such was the way
that Claire, and her Mum Janet both "talk it up"!
This doesn't even mention the myriad of
other champions and beginner RDA riders I work with in all the other
states, and countries, around the world, and again they just aren't
their illness...and again, they all "talk it up!"
I don't have the money...
One of the best excuses I hear over and
over again is "I don't have enough money.
Having no money never
stopped any of my champions raise the money they needed (see
success stories).
NONE of them had the money to go to Nationals, go to Europe, buy the
horses they needed. NONE of them...yet they're all out there
representing their country!
That never stopped me
running raffles, running duck races, asking for donations, asking
for rides on horses, organising clinics for the top trainers to come
to my area and get my lesson in return for free, asking truck
companies to donate rides for horses to competitions.
When I didn't have a
horse, I asked horse owners who didn't do too much with their horses
if I could take them out to competitions for them, getting them more
famous and more valuable, and every owner always said yes.
"I don't have enough
money" is a total crock. It's very bad "talk it down"
language. There is ALWAYS a way around it. I started
with NOTHING. It never stopped me. Why is it stopping
you?
See article:
"Riding
for free"
See also: "Donations
& fundraising"
I'm too old...
Next time the excuse is "I'm too
old"...think again.
My mother, Gwen Kelly, rode in the
Spirit of Pharlap show at age 75 years, with stiffness, rheumatism,
and terrible pain that she never even talked about. She
recently passed away and with her "talk it up" attitude was well at
lunchtime, and in heaven by dinner. She's riding up there
still.
I ride at age...um...with all my health
issues.
Mr. Roycroft rode at the Olympics
EVENTING at I think aged 65 years (correct me if I'm wrong there).
And, the Queen of England still
rides....and she is now over 80! So again, just another
excuse.
If you can get your left foot in the
stirrup, you're not too old! If you're saying you're too
old, you're using negative language again and need to change it!
I want to...but I'm lazy
It's nearly impossible to train, ride
and enjoy your riding on your own.
One of the things I did was put a little
advertisement in the local paper "horse to share", and I got the
most amazing young girl, now in Grade 11 at school, who comes out a
couple of times a week and on weekends, and here quite a lot during
school holidays.
This MAKES me get off my lazy butt and
work the horses. I have no choice then.
It's the same as being in a swim team,
training as a team. If you don't show up you're letting the
team down. If you train on your own, you're not letting anyone
down because no-one knows.
I was once told by the Head Rider from
the Royal School in Spain "Colleen don't be so vain that you think
other people can't ride your horse as well as you can". He was
totally right. In fact, often they ride better.
The young girl that works with me is younger, fitter, stronger, and
because she rides under my supervision, she rides EXACTLY how the
rule book says, and doesn't use my "little cheats" that I shouldn't
be using anyway!
It's brilliant...it worked to completely
fix me and get me out there again.
I'm just far too busy...
Let me ask you some questions:
have you EVER watched television? There's at least an hour
there!
Do you ever take the long way home in
your car wasting time? Do you spend evenings on the email, or
chat rooms, or surfing the net for rubbish?
Then this is just yet another excuse.
Turn off the television (there's 1 hour), get off the chat rooms,
(that's goodness knows how many hours), halve the length of your
emails (I'd like to do this one myself!), and there's your riding
time.
Those of you who know me know me in the
distant past know that I got up at 3:00am, was dressed and out the
door at 3:15, at the farm at 3:45 on the horse just after 4:00am in
the total dark in a paddock, learning to pick up a polocrosse ball
by the headlights of the car!. On the 6:19am Greyhound bus
from Surfers Paradise to Brisbane (some 90km) worked all day, back
out at the farm to feed up, and back up again at 3:15am and playing
polocrosse each and every weekend of the season.
Those of you who knew me years later
know that I worked at the University, with MASSIVE amounts of
overtime, while I studied part-time off-campus at the same time,
cleaned 12 stables and rode one horse every morning, cleaned animal
houses for more money both Sat and Sun mornings before my riding
lessons, was married, and still managed to read nearly every horse
riding book ever written at the same time!
Those of you who know me now know that I
get up, straight to the computer to answer your hundreds of emails a
day, straight out to the horses, back to the computer, organise
clinics all over the world, still studying, speaking at every major
horse event in the world, run a farm of 7 horses, write articles,
record DVD's and CD's. I'm writing both a book and a novel at
the same time, and even manage to cuddle my darling Nick when he
comes home and still play with Patch the Wonderdog!
It's not that you're too busy, it's that
you're doing other things. A psychologist or counsellor,
or time management consultant can really help you with this.
My horse is too dangerous,
old, lazy...
As I said the Queen of England still
rides - however - she rides a very well chosen, well educated horse.
One thing I might grant you is you might
need to change horses, and as I say on all my DVD's and CD's if your
horse scares you...get it trained...or get rid of it!
Sell it to a home who enjoys a "spunky monkey".
This is a dangerous sport! Get a
horse that's a good breed such as the quarter horses, paints, cold
bloods, appaloosas etc that are the known "golden retrievers" of the
horse world, and one that is nicely trained, and you can enjoy your
riding into your later years.
Get help...
One session with a sports psychologist
can do wonders. A couple of lessons with the local
cowboy or horse breaker can give you all the confidence you might
need. I get emails all the time asking for tips and help, and
I do the best I can to personally get back to everyone.
ASK FOR HELP!
You can do this with no money, bad
health issues, laziness and poor time management, and no horses...I
DID IT....WHY CANT YOU?
Be grateful...
One thing we forget is how rich we
REALLY are. Have you compared yourself to the countries
where they have no water and no electricity while we have the luxury
of riding?
Young (females especially) often have a
poor body image. Well, compared to who? Have
you compared yourself to our disabled riders with no arms or no
legs?
Be grateful!. If your
leg hurts - BE GRATEFUL YOU HAVE ONE!
If your hands hurt, be
grateful you're not riding with the reins in your teeth!
Be grateful you have "two feet and a
heartbeat" and two good hands to pat the four-legged buddy that calls you
his friend.
Gratitude is the very first step to....
Never
giving up...
I'm guessing that if you chose to read
this article, and if you've chosen to read this all the way to the
end, that horses are "in your blood". Don't let these
little things be excuses.
Keep going, please, it will work out in
the end.
Never never never give up.
If we can do it.....you can too!
With all my love to those out there who
have been told, or think they can't do it!
Have a look at
http://millieadventures.com/dez/index.htm
before you decide you can't do it!
You can, because we all did!
Love,
Colleen Kelly
